


Love is Brewing

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cool. - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Hero!Logan, Hero!Patton, Hero!Roman, Its not exactly a mention or even a mental health situation really, I’ll add more tags as I actually write probably, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Ok literally at this point, Or Is It?, Really terrifying superpowers tbh, Superheroes, Superpowers, Supervillains, Villain!Virgil, alright, bye, cool?, i guess?, love you, or don’t If suicide is a trigger for you, please, read it and decide for yourself, thank you, the most relevant mental health tag is, then just move on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2020-05-19 21:50:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19364656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Roman accidentally ingests a love potion, matters can only get worse from here. How is he supposed to focus on protecting his city when his heart is with the villain.Little does he know, this potion doesn’t create artificial love. It surfaces subconscious love that’s been there all along.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies!  
> This is my first fic on here so I can’t really promise anything. Feel free to comment if you see any glaring mistakes or with any criticisms. I hope you enjoy!

Virgil looked out over Sanders City from his perch atop the Hall of Villains, a skyscraper like building that looked down upon the South side.

He remembered fondly the days when all the Sides had acted as advisors to the mayors, the long line of Sanders who governed the city. But thanks to the havoc the villains caused, they had lost their titles as advisors and been effectively banished as far south as they could get. 

No matter what damage he caused, he didn’t fit in with the negative sides, the villains, couldn’t bring himself to belong. Because he was afraid. Afraid of them, their harsh words and harsher actions. Afraid of himself, afraid of what it would mean to truly belong in a group such as this. A group of liars and violent people. He didn’t want to be that. As far as he could see, his only crimes were having anxiety and dressing in dark clothing. But that was enough to get him stereotyped and banished.

And the worst part was the very thing that got him banished in the first place was keeping him from fighting to return. His anxiety. He worried that they wouldn’t accept him, it was only going to bring him more grief in the end. As much as he disliked the Hall of Villains, he could absolutely never fit in at the Hall of Heroes. With the smart and logical Logan, the sweet and caring Patton, and of course the ever stunning and creative Roman. Where would a man who’s only trait worth noting was his anxiety fit in there? The answer was simple. Nowhere.

So he made due with what he had, making conversation with the other negative sides when he could, pretending he had a family. The heroes were known for acting like a family and caring for one another like one. Virgil would never have that. So he would continue to make due with what he did have.

He gazed out at the city for one more brief moment, taking in the beauty, silhouette of the Hall of Heroes prominent in the distance, sun shining on it brightly from the east. This was the same city his “family” wanted destroyed. The one whose destruction they had worked towards every day after the banishment. The city whose destruction he would most definitely have to have a hand in himself, ruining his chances of ever living independently of the other villains. He smiled darkly before turning on his heel and turned to face the door that would ultimately lead him back to the others, back to his dark and inevitable fate. He took a breath to steel himself and opened that door.

~~~~~

Roman awoke with a smile on his face, lying snug under his fluffy red comforter for another few minutes. He stretched, feeling his joints loosening and the sun shining on his face through the open window. Lazily, he rolled over to get a glimpse of his alarm clock. It read 9:37. He had a meeting with the mayor and the other advisors at 9:30 before his day started, so that meant he had.. NO TIME TO GET READY because he was LATE.

Suddenly, Roman launched himself out of bed and stumbled towards his closet. He threw on his signature white and gold outfit, ran a brush through his hair, and then ran out the door.

It came to him that he wasn’t exactly known for his punctuality and that he was already late. So it really couldn’t do any harm at this point to grab a quick something for breakfast before heading to the meeting room. He slowed his pace and changed direction, pulling up short when he arrived in the kitchen.

He opened the fridge and began rummaging around messily and haphazardly. He pushed aside a ketchup bottle and a container of sour cream to reveal a pink bottle filled with what appeared to be a smoothie. He shrugged and grabbed it, taking a few hearty sips as he jogged the rest of the way to his meeting.

He didn’t bother to knock when he arrived, simply flying into the room chaotically. He was met with a beat of silence as everyone stopped mid sentence to look over at him.

“I’m here!” He announced cheerily, attempting to dispel the awkwardness through sheer force of confidence. He took another sip of the smoothie and plopped himself in the seat across from Thomas. 

Roman frowned when he saw the subtle widening of Logan’s eyes as they fixated, for some reason, on his smoothie. His expression had barely changed, but from someone like him it could mean something was horribly wrong. He looked to Thomas and Patton for help but they looked just as horrified as Logan.

“Roman..kiddo,” Patton began, clearly not quite knowing how to continue from there.

“How much of that did you drink?” Logan asked insistently, still staring at the smoothie. Roman followed his gaze to it. 

“I don’t exactly know,” Roman replied, unsettled and nervous but trying not to show it.

“Just that one sip?” Logan asked almost hopefully.

“No, definitely more than that,” Roman replied. Logan exhaled sharply but quietly out his nose before snatching the smoothie and uncapping it. He began staring into the bottle as if trying to mentally measure the amount Roman had drunk.

Thomas seemed to take pity on Romans cluelessness and informed him sympathetically that, “You drank a love potion, Ro.”

“I did what?!” Roman exclaimed, his first reaction being total and complete shock. Yes, he was the most romantic of the sides, but a love potion? He couldn’t handle loving some stranger for however long, or even one of his friends. He would be distracted from his work by someone he didn’t even truly love. He needed to be able to focus his creativity and strength into being an advisor and a hero, not into some artificial love.

He looked around at his table mates, at a total loss. Patton and Thomas were watching him with a mixture of nerves and sympathy while Logan continued studiously examining the bottle.

Logan places the bottle on the table with a pronounced frown, “You drank too much. You’ll almost certainly feel the effects.”

Roman plopped his head down onto his arms in despair. How could he have erred in such a fatal way just because he wanted a smoothie. After keeping his head down for a good ten seconds, he lifted it back up to meet Logan’s gaze.

“If I must love someone, tell me who it is,” he commanded dramatically. Logan just shook his head.

“You’re the only one who knows. This particular love potion derives it’s power from the beginnings of love already within a person. This means it will only strengthen your feelings of love towards someone you already have feelings for,” Logan explained calmly.

His should make Roman feel better, relieved. He didn’t have feelings for anyone! The potion wouldn’t work on him. He tried to grin triumphantly, but Logan’s words brought images of a hoodie wearing man with pale skin and dark makeup. This image brought a frown to his face, bit because of the image itself but because of the implications it carried with it. Virgil was a negative side. He was anxiety. This potion had to be faulty.

“I don’t have feelings for anyone,” he insisted, a beat too late to sound true. Thomas and Logan exchanged a look and Roman added, “I don’t,” much more softly.

When it was clear his words didn’t ring true to either him or anyone at the table, he fell silent and looked down at the table. The images of Virgil began to fill his mind once again. Virgil in battle, in action, Virgil leaned against a building to deliver a snarky line. It seemed every encounter Roman had had with Virgil had unwittingly been stored in his mind only to surface at this very moment.

His eyes fell shy and he felt a pair of arms encircle him in a hug. He opened his eyes to see Patton and smiled a small grateful smile, sinking into it. He let his eyes fall shut and wished the day hadn’t happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That awkward moment when you’re uploading to make yourself feel better about failing your permit test.
> 
> Did any of y’all American lovelies catch the Democratic debates? I need someone to nerd out over politics with!
> 
> Thank you lovelies so much for reading!

Virgil closed the door behind him softly as he reentered the building. He looked around the darkly painted hallway he found himself in, scanning for any signs of life. When he didn’t find any, he began walking as quickly and quietly as possible towards the relative safety of his room, hoping to make it there without bumping into anyone. But of course he didn’t make it that far.

“Anxiety!” He heard a sickly sweet voice call from the end of the hall behind him. He turned around to face whoever was there, knowing he’d been caught. He locked eyes with Duke and sighed as he waited for him to approach.

He didn’t know Dukes real name and Duke didn’t know his. None of the negative sides knew each other’s names, because that would involve a trust amongst them that simply didn’t exist.

“Anxiety!” The duke called again as he approached unhurriedly.

“Duke,” Anxiety acknowledged finally, eyes darting behind him down the hall before fully focusing on Duke. Maybe he could just make a break for it. He was Anxiety after all, they’d probably just blame it on, well, anxiety.

“Now where do you think you’re off to, hmm?” He asked, stepping closer and grabbing Virgil by the wrist, effectively foiling his admittedly poorly thought out escape plan.

“Nowhere really, just, just off to my room,” Virgil replied, staring at his captured wrist rather than looking Duke in the face.

“Awww, don’t you want to terrorize the city with us? Bomb this, set that on fire, there’s always more work to be done, we need all hands on deck!” He exclaimed in a borderline patronizing tone. 

Virgil ignored the tone, what would he even do about it anyway, and focused on the question. What had his life come to that avoiding this sort of question was routine?

“Oh, I don’t think so, not today. I have some other plans,” Virgil said, rather unconvincingly.

“Are your plans to sit alone in your room in the dark?” The Duke twisted Virgil’s wrist so he was forced to step closer, a grin on his face all the while.

Virgil didn’t respond.

“Because as it turns out, Deceit and I have some big plans for today. Some big plans that just happen to involve your capabilities. And you ARE going to help us,” The Dukes grin never dropped throughout this little speech. 

Virgil didn’t need to hear whatever threats he may have had to know he was serious. His grip on Virgil’s wrist had been slowly tightening all the while, and it was beginning to be unbearable. He tried wiggling to get his grip to loosen, but to no avail.

“Alright, fine, I’ll do it!” He exclaimed finally. The unknown threats were getting to him more than the wrist twisting, mostly because he knew they were real and that none of the negative sides would have any issue going through with them.

“Excellent!” Duke said cheerily, squeezing his wrist in a vice like manner once more for good measure before finally releasing it.

“Yeah, good,” Virgil muttered sarcastically, cradling his injured hand.

“What was that?” Duke froze and looked at Virgil, voice suddenly icy.

“Oh, n- n- nothing!” Virgil stuttered quickly, reduced to a puddle of fear by the tone Duke had taken up.

Duke stared at him dangerously for a moment more before breaking into cackling, “I was just messin’ with ya. Come on, buddy, let’s go find Deceit.”

With that he started skipping away happily. After Virgil had recovered from the shock, all he could do was follow miserably after.

Duke led them to the end of the hallway, to the elevator, and down to the first floor. As they approached the meeting room Virgil usually avoided like the plague, he thought for the second time about making a break for it. As if Duke could read his thoughts, he threw a glare back over his shoulder which quickly changed Virgil’s mind.

Duke opened the door and gestured inside, “After you.” He smirked and wiggled the fingers on the hand he was gesturing with when Virgil didn’t move immediately. Virgil stepped inside without comment.

Inside, Deceit was sitting in one of three chairs around a round table, hands folded carefully in front of him.

Since Virgil was still standing in the doorway, Duke gave him a hearty shove so he stumbled forward a few feet before following him inside.

“Hiya Deceit!” He said cheerily. Deceit merely gave a small smile and waggled his fingers at him before refolding them on the table.

Duke sat down in the chair closest to Deceit with enthusiasm, so Virgil took that as his cue to take the last chair himself.

“Tell him the plan, Deceit,” Duke said, leaning towards Deceit and batting his eyelashes dramatically.

“But of course,” Deceit gave another small smile to Duke before fixing his attention fully on Virgil, “We’ll take a jet plane, fly it over the city and bomb the town hall.” He said it so confidently that Virgil almost believed it, but he had to remind himself this was Deceit he was dealing with.

“But, we.. don’t have a jet plane?” Virgil responded hesitantly.

“Oh, you totally got him, D,” Duke managed from in between cackles, “No no, Anxiety, we’re going to bomb them from our Honda Civic.” He promptly broke into more cackles as Deceit looked on in fondness.

“Ok, but really,” Duke began, the laughter stopping alarmingly quickly, “Deceit will be in disguise, spreading false news of the mayors corruption. You can stand on rooftops or the streets or wherever, I don’t care, but work your magic spreading fear amongst the people. And I get to get rid of any public figure I want in any WAY I want, so long as it isn’t the mayor.” He stopped talking to rub his hands together in glee.

“So what do you think, Anxiety?” He asked, suddenly fixated back on Virgil.

“What’s the purpose of this plan?” He asked tentatively.

“Oh, the usual chaos and destruction. With a bit more added fear,” he winked at Virgil here.

“You don’t want to take down the mayor?” He asked, genuinely confused. He’d thought after their banishment, all they had wanted was revenge. But maybe he’d been wrong?

“Take down the mayor,” Deceit said slowly, a grin forming on his face, “What a horrible idea!”

Virgil’s heart sank as he realized he’d unwittingly planted the seed of an idea in their heads

. 

“We can distance ourselves from him immediately, make ourselves his enemies, so we’re in a position where we can take no corruptive action,” Deceit suggested with a full grin.

Virgil looked helplessly at Duke for a translation. He knew Deceit spoke in lies, but he often found it difficult to figure out what he actually meant.

“He means we’ll infiltrate the mayors circle after a while and take corruptive action,” said Duke helpfully, looking down his nose at Anxiety.

Virgil remained silent, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with this plan. Of course he didn’t want to take down the city and it’s government, but he was afraid for his own well-being if he didn’t.

“So it’s settled then!” The Duke said excitedly, clapping his hands together one as a sort of audible exclamation point.

“Let’s stay then,” Deceit said, looking more at Duke than at Virgil.

“Yes!” Duke said, leaping to his feet, pulling Deceit and Virgil up by the arm after him.

Well, it seemed like Virgil was doing this.

~~~~~

Roman snuggled deeper into Patton’s arms, closing his eyes tightly. Patton was giving him the opportunity to pretend none of this was happening, and by gosh he was going to take it.

He didn’t know what to do or how to deal with this. It simply wasn’t in his nature to ignore love. But it also wasn’t in his nature to love a negative side, a villain. Someone who would happily cause destruction, fear, and panic on a massive scale.

After another minute, he looked up and met Pattons eyes before peeling himself gently out of his grip, thanking him with his expression and hoping he understood.

Patton gave him a small sad smile and moved to sit once more in his usual space. Roman let his gaze flick from Patton to Thomas to Logan.

It was important for them to know who it was, he decided. What if it caused him to be at a disadvantage when he saw him in the streets? The other sides would need to know in order to compensate for his failure.

“It’s Anxiety,” he announced before he could change his mind. The other three stared back at him in shock, not expecting that name and not knowing what to say in response.

“Who?” Patton managed to squeak out, eyes wide.

“Anxiety,” Roman said, more firmly this time.

There was silence among them as each person individually puzzled out what to make of this.

“This isn’t ideal, but we can no doubt find a way to work around this,” Logan said, semi reassuringly.

Thomas opened his mouth, no doubt to say something comforting, but never got to finish. Alarms began going off throughout the building, alarms that signaled the negative sides were on the streets and causing disaster.

Thomas gave Roman a quick pitying look before leaping to his feet along with everyone else at the table.

Roman may know that he loves Anxiety, and may know that he’ll do anything to protect those he loves. But that can’t change anything. Because in the end, the line is drawn in the sand and they’re on opposite sides of it. In the end, Anxiety is still a villain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Sorry if this is horrible quality. I won’t say it’s not edited, but poorly edited seems like an apt description. I don’t have a beta and I’m the worst editor I know, quite frankly.
> 
> Please comment if you liked it I love reading them! Please comment if you hated it too, I’m always looking to improve!
> 
> Have the best day/night, my lovely people!
> 
> (Ps I don’t know why it’s also showing the end notes from chapter 1 but you can just ignore those)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I tried a few new things this chapter that hopefully made it better rather than worse.
> 
> 1) more character perspectives  
> 2) I actually planned it, which I definitely should have done the first two chapters but didn’t  
> 3) it’s longer so I guess that’s good?
> 
> Anyway please tell me what you thought, good or bad.
> 
> ALSO TRIGGER WARNING  
> Near the end there’s a suicide like type situation. Not actual suicide and not really discussed suicide. I don’t know how to describe it exactly but basically if you don’t want to read about suicide don’t read the last segment (Logan’s pov) of this chapter. I can give you a quick summary with all the info you need to follow the story line without reading if you want

Virgil looked down at his home city from the top of a roof for the second time in one day. It was a fairly tall building. Though, he could still see the faces of civilians walking around below him clearly despite the distance. Strangely enough, they didn’t seem to notice him.

Or maybe that wasn’t so strange.

After all, it was hard to be aware of your surroundings when all your fears, insecurities, and nightmares were being presented to your immediate consciousness tenfold. You might not notice a lone figure cheerily kicking his legs against the side of a building as he sits watching over you from his perch when your mind is being consumed by the most anxiety it has ever felt.

Now that Virgil was experiencing it, he could sort of understand why the heroes didn’t want him near them, let alone the mayor.

If he was capable of feeling fear in this state, he might be afraid of what these actions meant for him. What they meant for the worlds perception of him and what it meant for his character that he was willing to press anxiety on innocent people.

But in this state he was fearless and that meant he was boundless, inhibition-less. Everything was reduced to cause and effect. He spreads anxiety, his own anxiety disappears. With his anxiety disappears every ounce of fear, to be replaced with a sick sort of bliss.

And so he sat on the building, he swung his legs, and he watched the suffering unfold. And he did it without an ounce of remorse.

~~~~~

Roman backed further down the alley until he felt his back hit solid wall. He was trapped between a wall and Duke with all of his disorganized chaos.

Duke grinned maniacally as he advanced, the air around him seeming to buzz with energy and potential. Shifting and substance-less, the air formed images of horror, ridiculous in some cases and generated seemingly at random.

Roman’s own creative energy was somewhat lacking at the moment. The waves of anxiety that flooded the streets were hindering him, flooding every crevice of his brain with fear. And he was in love with the man who had projected this upon him. The air around him remained still.

Duke reached behind him and the air between his fingers hardened and molded until he was holding a fully formed weapon. His signature.. spiky ball. Roman didn’t know what it was called.

“Not so regal and strong now, are we?” Duke said tauntingly, swinging the ... thing... around nonchalantly.

And Roman realized he was right. Strong princes weren’t taken down by anxiety before they even fought their battles. They fought through anything. Regal princes didn’t cower in front of an enemy, pitifully trying to hide themselves in the shadow of a wall.

He didn’t respond to Duke’s taunts, simply staring at him nervously as he approached. But that wasn’t him. He didn’t let insults slide so easily. He didn’t surrender. He protected his city with everything he had.

As he watched Duke raise the weapon above his head and prepare to bring it down on him full force, he felt the wall of anxiety start to weaken slightly, cracking just enough. He felt his creative energy buzz gently and hardly noticeably around him. Using all of his mental energy, he focused it all into one place, his hand, until he could feel the familiar cool metal in his palm. Grasping the sword firmly in both hands, he swung it up to meet Duke’s weapon, stopping its path towards Roman’s head.

Duke smiled as if pleasantly surprised by this turn of events.

“You won’t be able to hold it for long. But it’ll be fun to watch you try,” he laughed again as he began another onslaught of attacks.

Roman was playing defense, blocking blow after blow. It was all he could do to hold his own. To his annoyance, Duke had been right twice in a row. He could feel his sword fading slowly back into a thin mist of energy.

He couldn’t go on much longer like this. He had to utilize his sword while he still had it and he had to stop Duke before Duke stopped him.

Mustering all his courage, he solidified the blade, and mustering all his strength, he held it at the ready. And swung, hard. He connected the flat side of the blade to Duke’s wrist with a crack and the weapon thing fell from his hand with a clatter. 

Duke cradled his injured hand in a mixture of shock and pain. Roman let his sword dissolve and picked up the spiky ball thing, swinging it nonchalantly, mirroring Duke’s earlier attitude. He walked slowly up to him, resting the weapon against his shoulder.

“Let this be a lesson to you. Strength wins out over fear,” he raised the weapon over his head while Duke glared defiantly up at him. 

“Oh and consider this payback,” he said, letting the weapon drop to hit him in the head just hard enough for him to lose consciousness. 

The weapon faded away with Duke’s consciousness and now Roman was left alone in an alley with an unconscious body.

Pretty sketch if you asked him.

Roman glared at Duke for a second, but in the end, his conscience won out and he found himself lugging his enemy through the streets and to safety. 

Someone please remind him why princes had to be so chivalrous again.

~~~~~

Patton stared forward, entranced by what was practically a mirror image of himself. Not even practically, just factually. He was staring straight into his own face.

Before him stood a carbon Patton copy whose face was twisted into a grotesque sneer resembling no expression Patton himself had ever made.

And the Patton was saying.. things.

“Your friends. You think they’re family but really you’re just holding them back. They want to get rid of you. And for good reason. You never help Thomas, you leave all the real work to the others. You’re not strong enough for Roman and you’re not smart enough for Logan. You'll never be good enough,” the other Patton went on and on.

And the real Patton couldn’t dispute what the fake Patton was saying. When did he ever help Thomas? Or Roman and Logan for that matter?

Normally Patton was rather good at shaking off negative thoughts and looking on the bright side. But today was another story. He couldn’t shake the unsettlingly intense anxiety that was filling his brain.

And if he couldn’t shake the anxiety, he wouldn’t be able to shake those words. They’d be all he could think about because from his current perspective, they were true.

At moments like these he wished he could have the ability to be logical that Logan had. Logan would know what to do right now. Logan would be able to take care of a clone of himself because Logan was smart and would figure it out.

What would Logan do?

He didn’t know, so he supposed he’d have to settle for a new question: What would Patton do?

Patton stared hard into his own eyes. He knew that wasn’t him. He knew those weren’t his original thoughts and he knew he’d have better morals than to put someone down that way- even if it was himself. That meant this wasn’t him.

He pointed his finger at the imposter and focused all his energy towards it. As the energy hit its body, the imposter began morphing. When it had fully transformed, Patton was met with the snakelike features of-

“DECEIT!” He yelled, still pointing.

“I’ve no idea who that is,” Deceit countered, smirking.

Patton started to focus the energy through his fingertips until Deceit started yelling.

“I’m a part of you! You can’t get rid of me because you and I, we aren’t separate!” Deceit shouted, trying to talk his way out of what Patton was about to do.

When the force of Pattons energy hit any normal person it would make them completely honest and moral for the extent of the time they were in contact with Pattons energy. For Deceit, who’s very essence was the opposite of honesty and morality, the energy had much more detrimental effects.

“I’ll just stay then,” Deceit argued, seeing the look on Pattons face, “you really want to hurt me so I’ll just stay and you won’t be on your way.”

Patton wasn’t inclined to let him get away so easily, but the longer he stood inactive, the more the anxiety started to get to him. It simultaneously made him jittery and wore him down and he didn’t think he could handle much more of a conversation, let alone a fight.

“Fine, go,” Patton agreed, shakily lowering his finger. Deceit grinned in triumph, but that wasn’t Pattons main concern right now. His main concern was the pounding of his head in his ears, the blinding fear, the fogging of his mind and perceptions, the- well, you get the idea.

“I won’t be back,” Deceit called, before turning on his heel, waggling his fingers at Patton over his shoulder, and practically prancing away. 

Patton tried to walk back to the hall of heroes but he couldn’t focus on walking. He sank to his knees, about to give up when he saw Roman lugging a body out of the corner of his eye.

“Roman!” He called weakly. He just had enough time to hope Roman had heard him before he keeled over and lost consciousness.

~~~~~

Logan stood in the center of the town square alone. He was supposed to be finding Anxiety. The others seemed to think his intellect and reasoning would be an asset in the search for Anxiety.

This might be true if he had known anything at all about the man beforehand, but this was his first large scale attack, so Logan had no point of reference from which to formulate a plan.

Someone who was afraid might go anywhere. They might stick to the allies, to remain in the dark and unseen. They might stay in the open in order to be able to spot potential dangers in the light. They might go somewhere they felt safe.

But who said this Anxiety character was actually afraid? For all Logan knew, he was perfectly calm, cool, and collected. Releasing all this anxiety might not have a detrimental effect on Anxiety himself.

He sat down on a bench to think. And then he felt it. Or maybe it was less of a feeling, not something he experienced but rather something he sensed.

It was a pressure in the air that bore down around him just hard enough to be noticeable. It was dark and it was heavy, it was almost frantic.

Logan was sensing anxiety. Not Anxiety, but anxiety itself. This was what Anxiety was releasing through the streets, weakening and terrifying the people.

Logan leaped back to his feet and took a careful step forward. The pressure bore down harder. He took a step back. The pressure was relieved.

He started forward at a jog, heading for the source of the anxiety, where the fog was thickest and the pressure was the weightiest.

When the pressure had grown into an almost unbearable physical struggle, Logan came to a stop. If Anxiety was anywhere, he was here.

He was standing in front of what appeared to be an office building, looking around for any sign of movement. Any people he saw were cowering and trying to stay out of view. He looked around every corner but he didn’t see anyone resembling Anxiety.

Until he heard him.

“Logan, Logic, you’re here!” A voice called with a sort of enthusiastic sarcasm. Logan’s head snapped up until his eyes focused on the source of the sound.

Anxiety was sitting on the top of the office building, draped casually along the edge.

“Come down from there,” Logan called up.

“No, I think I kinda like it up here,” Predictably, Anxiety remained on the rooftop, almost seeming to drape himself onto it more firmly in defiance.

“At least stop doing this to these innocent people. They’ve done nothing to you,” Logan persisted. He could still see civilians in various states of distress out of the corners of his eyes.

“Noo, Logan, they haven’t, I know I know,” Anxiety voice sounded almost sing songy, “but I can’t go back to that, the cowering and the worrying and the fear. The ANXIETY, Logan you’ve no idea what it’s like, you couldn’t.” 

With every word Anxiety spoke the shadows seemed to grow darker, dragging the city into the appearance of an unfamiliar nightmare realm. The pressure was growing heavier and Logan faintly heard a scream somewhere off behind him.

“No I don’t know what it’s like,” he stepped forward, determined to keep his head despite the situation, “but you do. And you know how horrible it is. So how can your conscience allow you to inflict it upon unsuspecting people?”

“Oh, Mr. Logic Man, conscience doesn’t come into play here,” he swung his legs over the side of the building to look at Logan better.

Logan chose to overlook the strange nickname and focus on the words he was saying.

“But it does, you’re harming defenseless people! You have the power to stop it!” Logan exclaimed. Anxiety seemed to be ignoring him suddenly. He climbed to his feet and faced away from Logan, looking out over the city.

After a few moments of silence, he visibly relaxed his muscles. Logan could see him teetering backwards over the edge.

“No!” Logan shouted as Anxiety overbalanced and fell over the edge. The expression on his face was calm as he flew through the air and towards the ground.

There was a sickening thud as he landed. The ground and surrounding air seemed to pulse out and away from him. The pressure increased tenfold and Logan’s hands flew to his head. He was practically blinded as he fell to his knees, barely holding onto his sanity.

After a few moments, the pressure abated as quickly as it had arrived. He opened his eyes to see Anxiety standing unharmed over him, hair whipping in the wind as newly arrived storm clouds framed his figure from behind.

“I want to stop, I really do. But Logan, I couldn’t stop now if I tried,” he said sadly, before turning and walking away, slipping seamlessly into the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have an amazingly wonderful day/night my lovely lovelies!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO sorry about not updating in such a long time lovelies, but mental states and life and a lot of things just got in the way. But enough excuses, I swear on my life that by god I will finish this fic if it’s the last thing I do!
> 
> Also TRIGGER WARNING for depictions of a panic attack. Please if you can’t read it don’t. If you need a description of the general events of the chapter I’ll be more than happy to provide one so don’t be afraid to ask!
> 
> Oh yeah and there’s like.. a needle too. So if you don’t wanna read about that same applies. Ok cool I’m done now.
> 
> Much love to everyone!

Roman was determinedly lugging Duke in the direction of the Hall of Heroes. It was important that they detain him and give him medical attention if necessary, but dang he was getting heavy! So Roman was still struggling to carry the Duke when he heard someone call his name weakly.

“Roman!” That sounded like.. Patton? Roman whipped around immediately, just in time to see Patton collapse to the ground.

Roman put the Duke down unceremoniously, practically dumping him to the ground in his haste to get to Patton.

“Patton! Pat? Are you alright?” Roman asked frantically.

Of course, since unconscious people didn’t usually respond to questioning, Roman got no response. Quickly, he put his fingers to Pattons neck, checking for a pulse and was relieved when he found one right away.

Still afraid for Patton’s health, Roman scooped him up and began running him into the building, cradling him carefully so as not to injure him more. His adrenaline fueled run made for a sharp contrast to the way he’d been dragging Duke, but he couldn’t let himself feel guilty about that yet, not when Patton’s life might be at stake.

Quickly unlocking the door, Roman wasted no time in rushing inside and heading straight for the infirmary, which thankfully was nearby.

The nurse sitting at the front desk looked up from her magazine and did a double take upon seeing the situation, but immediately hit the emergency button that signaled a hero was down. Almost instantly, a team of medical professionals exited the room next to the desk with a stretcher. One man gave Roman a tight lipped smile before taking Patton from his arms and placing him gently onto the stretcher.

Just like that, they were wheeling him away and Roman was collapsing into a chair set up near the front desk. The woman who sat behind it hadn’t moved through this whole situation, but now she offered him a reassuring smile. 

“We’ll let you know when he’s in stable condition or if anything changes,” she offered kindly. Roman could do nothing but nod. 

The woman smiled at him once again before pulling out a magazine and seeming to settle back into her seat once more. 

“Oh no,” Roman said, jumping up from his seat in a panic. The front desk lady looked up at him again, nervously.

“Duke,” he said simply. Which probably wasn’t very good of an explanation for her without context, but it was all Roman had time for.

He burst out of the infirmary and onto the street. He froze, staying in place, and scanned the area quickly. But he was too late. The Duke was nowhere to be seen.

~~~~~

There was an insistent, constant beeping piercing into the cold heavy darkness. Patton couldn’t decide whether to be relieved at the seeming end to the previously endless nothingness or afraid of what this unexpected change in environment could mean.

But his limbs were heavy. He couldn’t move to investigate the sound or to ask for his family. He was completely alone. What if he never escaped this what if he had already died and this was what came after what if he never saw his family ever again what if what if what if?

Suddenly Patton shot up bolt upright, eyes wide open and afraid. He was in a bed in a hospital. Was he sick? Was he dying? Was his family alright, were they dying? Was Logan?

He was vaguely aware of a woman (a nurse?) talking to him, trying to get him to calm down but how could he calm down when everything was so uncertain and there was this overwhelming.. well, feeling. It seemed to permeate the air around him and he was powerless against it, at its mercy.

After some amount of time (a minute? A year? Who knew how much time he was losing) the voice of the nurse seemed fade as she seemed to give up and go away. And he was so very very alone.

And then Patton saw something that he knew should have made him happy. Roman and Thomas were in the room! They’d come to visit him! 

But where was Logan? Had Logan realized that Patton was too stupid for him to waste his time around, too useless to consider family, let alone a friend? Did Logan not love him anymore? Or was Logan sick or hurt? So sick or hurt that he couldn’t see Patton? That he might even.. die?

Now Patton was crying. He was shaking. He was incoherent, sad, and above all so afraid, filled with so much fear that he almost couldn’t keep up with his own thoughts, couldn’t process the horrible realities just over the horizon, so close to the present and so vivid that they might as well be his life.

Patton could feel a hand on his shoulder. It could have belonged to Thomas or Roman or a doctor, someone who wanted to help. But the possibility that it was someone who wanted to do him harm, to rip him from what remaining family he had, was much more real to him. And so he thrashed and sobbed until the hand was quickly withdrawn. 

And he felt momentary relief. Until he remembered that the hostile hand was only one threat out of many and the fear flooded straight back into his mind.

Eventually, those in the room began to speak and at first Patton didn’t even begin to try to process what was happening. But quickly he realized that maybe what they were talking about effected him, maybe they were going to leave him here forever, or they thought he was dead, or they didn’t want him anymore. He had the compulsive need to know. 

The nurse was telling them... as long as Anxiety chose to continue exerting his influence over Patton, there was nothing they could do for him. And Thomas and Roman were leaving. Patton couldn’t listen anymore. They were leaving him. Patton was going to be alone here forever and Logan was gone and Patton was going to die here and he was going to die so horribly horribly alone.

Patton didn’t realized how violently he’d been thrashing or how loudly he’d been screaming and sobbing until he felt the slight poke of a needle in his arm. And oh god it was a needle, they had stabbed him with it and they were using it to kill him and-

Suddenly, he was slipping, falling backwards away from reality into that cold, dark, lonely abyss. And he was sure that this time he wouldn’t be back.

~~~~~

Anxiety was already sitting at the head of the table when Deceit and the Duke slunk into their meeting room. The head of the table was Dukes seat, but from the apprehensive way the pair approached him, Anxiety didn’t think that would be much of a problem. 

Duke cleared his throat nervously as if to speak, and Anxiety smirked, clasping his hands together on the table and leaning forward threateningly. Oh how he was enjoying this new dynamic.

Eventually, Duke thought better of whatever it was he was going to say and hesitantly sat down in an open chair, Deceit close behind him.

“You.. aren’t doing an excellent job of spreading fear and chaos throughout the city, Anxiety,” Deceit said eventually. 

“Why thank you. It is what I was created for, after all,” Anxiety replied, politely inclining his head to Deceit. But he chose to say nothing else, choosing rather to allow the two of them to realize their position, which was one of powerlessness, and their place, which was below him, on their own, without Anxiety needing to spell it out for them.

“All is going according to our plan,” Duke said hesitantly, as if Anxiety needed to be placated now that he was using the full range of his powers. This amused Anxiety more than anything, he hadn’t even needed to threaten them and already they were mentally bending to his will.

“My plan,” he amended. His plan, admittedly, was a bit different from the original, but it was safe to say that it was going well so far.

“But we planned this together, we were going to do it together-“ Duke protested, but shut up quickly at the sound of a violent crack of thunder outside the window.

Once again, Anxiety was vaguely amused. The thunder wasn’t even an indicator of his rage, as the others seemed to believe it to be. It was a simple matter of creating friction between the particles of power that were thick in the air. But he supposed they weren’t in the right state of mind to think logically.

“Our plan,” Deceit said quietly. Anxiety smirked, knowing this was the closest he would get to honesty coming from Deceit. He simply ignored the Duke’s fearful nodding.

“So you’re going to take over the city now?” Duke asked timidly.

“Take over the city?” Anxiety laughed, loud and long, at that one, “You think I need to take over the city?”

Anxiety continued to chuckle slightly as Duke just shrugged, not knowing how correctly answer that one.

“Oh, Dukey,” Anxiety’s laughter ceased suddenly, probably alarming quickly, expression twisting into one of sick dark pleasure, “Take a good look around. The city’s already mine.”

~~~~~

Logan ran up the stairs two at a time, heading straight for the conference room, praying that Thomas, Roman, and Patton would be inside when he got there.

Once he reached the top he burst inside, out of breath and looking the most disheveled he’d probably ever allowed himself to look. The first thing he noticed was Roman and Thomas sitting in their chairs, both looking even more distressed than Logan was. The second thing he noticed was the lack of Patton.

“Where’s Patton?” He asked immediately, skipping out on a greeting in an attempt to ease the panic building at the sight of the empty chair.

Roman looked up at Logan, looking like it pained him to answer, hating to add to Logan’s distress even more, “Infirmary.”

Logan’s worry eased just slightly, knowing Patton was alive at the least. But he wasn’t naive enough to be completely reassured.

“Why?” He snapped, a little too harshly.

“The anxiety. Anxiety must be targeting him specifically, I’m sorry Logan, there’s nothing they can do,” Roman said, voice breaking on the last word.

Oh god. Anxiety was targeting Patton. This was all Logan’s fault, he should’ve stopped him before it got this far, he should’ve protected Patton. How could he have let this happen to their sweet Patton, the glue that held their little group together with his constant support and happiness? This was all his fault. And without Patton, their team would unravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it: please leave a comment, people enjoying what I do is what provides like all of my motivation I’m serious
> 
> If you hated it: please leave a comment so I can improve and maybe you’ll hate my writing less in the future. Seriously though don’t be afraid to put constructive criticism, improvement is my constant goal.
> 
> Thank you, much love!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like- I typed this on a computer instead of a phone and I feel like that somehow increased the quality? I don't know what kinda bs that is considering a phone is so much more convenient, ya know, mobility and all that jazz- but I guess quality is kinda important so.. computer it is I guess
> 
> Anywhooo.. once again it's been a while since the last update. Mate I don't know I don't even have any good excuses, just know that despite my sporadic updating schedule I still have the way this story is gonna go mapped out, so it's not gonna be abandoned.
> 
> Overall, just enjoy lovelies and have an amazing day/night!

Logan sat in silence on the flimsy foldout chair that had been brought into the room. It had been brought there specifically for him, because he hadn’t wanted to leave Patton here by himself while he was afraid, because he didn’t want to leave Patton by himself ever. Because they were family and family didn’t abandon each other.

Logan had left Patton alone once before, and that had resulted in Patton in a hospital bed, wracked with paralyzing anxiety that left him unable to think straight, unable to avoid spiralling into thoughts of paranoia and fear. So he couldn’t bear to leave Patton alone again.

Even if Patton wasn’t aware he was there. Even though the doctors had pumped him full of medications that would supposedly relax him, put him into what was essentially a medically induced coma until they could safely wake him. Which honestly seemed like crap to Logan, because every so often Patton would twitch or his expression would twist slightly and Logan just knew without having to be told that Patton was experiencing something just as bad if not worse in this impenetrable nightmare world the doctors had locked him in.

So Logan sat still in his chair, helpless, watching over Patton because it seemed that was the only thing he still had the power to do. 

After what could have been anywhere from a minute to a day- time seemed almost irrelevant and incalculable in this vacuum of space that this sterile and bare room had become- the silence was interrupted.

There came a knock at the door, it’s quiet volume lending it an almost hesitant quality. Logan couldn’t decide whether the interruption was a good thing. He didn’t think more doctors would do Patton any favors at this point. His affliction was a direct result of Anxiety’s malice, and he didn’t think anything but Anxiety himself could help him.

When there was no response to the knock, the door opened anyway, a person stepping nervously into view.

Logan felt some shock at Roman’s appearance. The man was obviously the worse for wear- affected just as much as Logan was by the fear that came with the state of Patton’s health. Only Roman was doubly weighted down, Logan knew, he was susceptible to Anxiety’s releases of power, which even know pulsed outward almost gently, probingly, determined not to leave one stone unturned or one person unafraid.

And yet, despite his hunched figure and defensive posture, despite the anxious look on Roman’s face, unmasked by his usual princely bravado, Logan still saw the glint of determination in his eyes. That was good. Maybe he would be of more help than Logan could. Maybe he could fix this for Patton.

“Roman,” he acknowledged, breaking the stretching silence with a voice that sounded toneless, clipped.

“Logan, I can’t do this,” Roman said immediately. He sounded not like a broken man, but like a fragile one. Or better yet, a man standing on a frozen lake, only a thin layer of ice separating him from the swirling and treacherous waters below. Like he was holding it together, barely, but the slightest movement or pressure would send him on an irreversible journey into the abyss.

It was something Logan didn’t know how to handle. He wasn’t the best at comforting people at the best of times, but now he just felt numb. All he could think about was Patton, but his body, surely out of some misguided attempt at self preservation, was holding him in a mental state akin to one of shock.

So Logan said nothing. It wasn’t that he didn’t sympathize. Of course he did. Roman was family too. It was just that for once, in this case, there didn’t seem to be a logical solution. So having nothing to say, he said nothing. 

“We have to go after him. After Anxiety. We’ll find him, make him fix Patton, fix everything, and then we’ll get rid of him so he can’t do this to any of us ever again,” Roman said determinedly, hands balled into tight fists at his sides.

Logan could only imagine the emotions Roman was feeling right now. The fear was obvious, a direct result of Anxiety’s actions in every sense. But the accidental “smoothie” Roman had had for breakfast, that had seemed almost trivial when it was first brought up, Logan was sure it was raising some serious conflict now. Real or artificial love, he was sure, knowing that Roman was a princely figure with a profound moral compass and a righteous sense of good and evil, the feelings directed towards the obvious villain, who was causing such pain, would be stirring up strong feelings of self hatred in Roman.

The thought caused a feeling of sudden protectiveness in Logan, seemingly enough to snap him into coherency. He couldn’t be certain about much anymore, but if he was certain of one thing it was that this wasn’t Roman’s fault. If this probably suicidal mission was going to bring a sense of closure to Roman and bring his Patton back to them- well it really wasn’t even a question.

“Okay. I will participate,” Logan replied, giving an almost imperceptible nod.

On a normal day, Logan agreeing to one of Roman’s quest would cause excitement and happiness in the other man. It was a chance to show off his heroism in action, after all. But this wasn’t a normal day and neither of them were feeling much like heros. Roman just nodded grimly back at Logan. 

“Just give me a minute alone with Patton and then we can go,” Logan said quietly, attention shifted immediately back to the man in the bed now that he and Roman had seemingly come to an agreement.

Roman hesitated for a second, but then he nodded, and before Logan knew it he and Patton were alone again. 

He fixed his gaze on the sleeping man, staring as if to memorize his face, perhaps to draw strength from on the journey ahead. It pained him how restless he looked, even in sleep, a far cry from his normally buoyant personality. He tried to comfort himself with the fact that he and Roman were going to fix it and Patton would be back to his old self in no time, but it still felt overwhelmingly like a loss. 

Collecting himself, he stood up from his chair, leaning over Patton slightly, almost indecisively. Quickly making up his mind, he leaned over him and pressed a soft kiss to his pale forehead, nothing more than a chaste display of affection and worry for the man.

“You have nothing to fear, Patton. Roman and I are going to bring you back to us,” he said to him softly. As expected, Patton gave no sign of having heard, seeming to wince slightly if anything. Logan’s heart broke at the sight and he was forced to look away. 

When he finally dragged his eyes back to Patton, he tried to let the negative emotions fuel him. But he was never the best at that. He was supposed to be logical, to think things through. None of this felt very logical and he was struggling to process it.

Eventually, when he could loiter no longer, he simply stood up and walked out of the room. He would meet up with Roman and they would try their hardest to fix it. If they didn’t succeed he would have to return to a life without Patton and a hospital bed containing a shell of his friend’s former self. And he didn’t think he could bear to do that. So he didn’t know about Roman, but for Logan it was succeed or die trying.

~~~~~

Duke sat quietly at the table, Deceit across from him and Anxiety at his newly claimed spot at the head. 

Anxiety had been in charge for a very short while- and Duke could admit this by now, Anxiety was very much in charge- and in this short amount of time, he had been able to accomplish two very rare and unusual things.

For one, he’d made him uncomfortable. Duke prided himself on making others uncomfortable. He’d discuss purposefully gory or overly personal topics to cause discomfort in others. And partially due to this and partially due to the fact that this was just the way his personality was, he almost never became uncomfortable himself. But now, Anxiety was releasing power indiscriminately. It didn’t seem to bother him that he was affecting Duke and Deceit just as much as any of their enemies. So Duke was uncomfortable, and afraid to ask Anxiety for a respite lest it anger him.

Which brought him to the second thing Anxiety had accomplished. He’d caused Duke to sit still and be silent. The fear Anxiety caused gave the feeling that Duke was walking a thin line, and he was horribly afraid to overstep. Normally, people’s boundaries didn’t count for much to Duke. It wasn’t like him to give up power and it definitely wasn’t like him to be so quiet.

He and Deceit just watched Anxiety warily. Anxiety had his feet kicked up on the table and his arms behind his head, leaning back in his chair and looking utterly relaxed. His powers were bearing down hard on him and Deceit, especially with their close proximity. Yet Anxiety seemed completely at ease, almost blissed out.

If Anxiety had any plans, they weren’t clued in to them. He was just leaving them to quietly question themselves and give into the fear clouding the edges of their psyches.

Their lives were completely in Anxiety’s hands, and though Duke was known for being tough and scary, and despite technically being on the same side as Anxiety, he had to admit that it was scaring him.


End file.
